The Shitclock is ticking!
Monday, August 30, 2010, 08:14 AM
Man, I need to stop drinking! I feel like shit!
Wait, I didn't drink last night...or all weekend for that matter!
My posts to this journal are starting to be come as short as a Facebook post. That sucks. Well, it's back to work for me. I've got about 3 commercials that I need to finish today. Sariah is off Tomorrow and Wednesday and will be taking the car down to St. Louis. She's planning on leaving tonight so that's going to suck for me as far as getting back and forth to work. One thing at a time though. Right now, I need to focus on the 3 commercials and the rest will be easy.
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( 3 / 5 )...or so I thought.
Thursday, August 26, 2010, 07:16 PM
Damn it!!! Paul once again blew me off! Now he wants to meet up tomorrow morning. I'll be shocked if he actually shows up.
BABY MOSES!!!!
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( 3.3 / 3 )It's about damn time!!
Thursday, August 26, 2010, 12:13 PM
Finally got a hold of Paul. He's coming to the office today. Still don't know what to expect, but at least I know we'll be talking about it finally. Again, he could short me and this could be my last project for them or I'll get the full amount and my anxiety will have been just a snowball effect due to a lack of communication between us. Either way, I'll be getting some money; which is great news because I was kind of counting on that money.
In other news, Summer has given birth to a son. We've all been waiting with nervous anticipation due to the many complications she's had in her life and through the course of her pregnancy. It's great that we can celebrate this as the past couple of years have been pretty rough on them. It's still not going to be an easy road for Summer, but at least now she'll have someone in her immediate life that will share her love. I'm happy for her.
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( 3 / 3 )Goodbye, dear friend!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010, 07:54 PM
I guess Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job isn't coming finished according to Tim and Eric. My first reaction would be skepticism as the show is wildly popular and they don't have a lot else going on, but there hasn't been any other talk about another season. Now that Richard Dunn has passed away, I guess it just seems even less likely that Awesome Show will be coming back ever again.
Goodbye Richard Dunn and good by T&EASGJ!!
You will be missed!
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( 2.5 / 2 )And it goes on and on
Monday, August 23, 2010, 10:48 AM
It's Monday and still haven't heard anything from the CCCW guys. I haven't tried to call them or email them all weekend; rather I floated on my previous VM and email to Paul thinking he would want to talk to me if he really had a problem. I emailed Paul again this morning and still haven't heard from him. It's looking more and more like I'm getting the shaft on this one way or another.
I've felt like shit all weekend long. Friday night I got drunk so I would forget about the whole CCCW situation. Saturday I was hungover, but had to tape Talkin' Beer episodes so I drank my way through that. Sunday was the worst as it was a day of compounded hangovers. I'm still hungover today, actually! This feeling sucks! I shouldn't have drank Friday, but when shit gets too stressful I always run to the bottle for salvation. As much as I hate doing this to myself I have to say that I wouldn't do it if it weren't effective. I preoccupied myself with other things and didn't think about the situation with CCCW until late Sunday evening.
I have a habit of obsessing over things. Having an issue linger in the air like what is going on right now is torture to me. It bothers me so much to not know what the other party is thinking and the problem worsens when they refuse to speak to me about it. One, it's childish and two, it's completely unprofessional. I'm left assuming the worst and that's how I feel things are going down. Some would argue that I'm just blowing things out of proportion and that I should just relax and wait it out. These people obviously don't do high dollar freelance work without a net like I do.
It all comes down to this: My relationship with 28 Productions will continue, or it has come to and end. That's even an aside to the current dilemma, but just as important to me. I would like to continue doing this work for them, but I'm not doing it at half of what I'm charging them now. I'm so tired of waiting and getting the run-around. No matter the outcome, I just wish I didn't have to feel this way anymore.
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( 3 / 3 )Business as usual!
Friday, August 20, 2010, 08:39 PM
It's like a broken record with the 28 Productions guys. Every single time I think we have things worked out they always come back with bullshit. So they're upset because the July 31st fight came to a grand. They thought it was going to be around $400. That would have put my hourly rate at $10 an hour. That's complete bullshit and I don't know why they think I would work that cheap.
Paul is dodging my communication, so I have to assume that I'm not getting paid for the work I've done. I blame them because they have been so damn dodgy to work with that it's no wonder they got confused about my rates, even though I sent them a detailed analysis of my charges going forward 3 months ago, shortly after the Lumiere show. It always takes those guys a week to get back to me, but that just amplifies my nervousness about the whole situation.
Assuming everything works out positively and they want to continue doing business with me, I'm going to have to talk contract with them because when shit like this goes down, I'm tired of my ass not being covered. The bitch of it is that I told them back in June that since I was charging them for every fight that I edit, they should let me know what fights to do and what fights not to do. Ever since then, they've just told me to edit them all, which is what I've done. I'm fine with that arrangement and it helps them determine their own expense for video work they contract from me. Unfortunately, one hemisphere of the 28 Productions brain doesn't communicate with the other, so while I'm talking business with one half, the other remains completely clueless to what is being discussed. That's a bad way to run any business.
I want to stay optimistic, but even if things pan out there's a good chance this might be my last job for them. Like I said before, communication is not their strong suit, so it's going to be very difficult for me to continue putting myself through the ringer like this every time a job is finished and I'm waiting to be paid. I kept telling myself that before I did any work on this one that I should get a contract drafted and propose it to them so they understood the conditions of our professional relationship and nothing was left to chance. Shame on me for taking my situation with them for granted. It definitely won't end up this way again.
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( 2.9 / 13 )Wasted days
Saturday, August 14, 2010, 11:30 AM
It's 11:20 AM, Saturday the 14th of August. I'm bored out of my mind and have nothing to do. I'm surrounded by things that I could do, but none of these things seem to interest me enough to do them. I've had this thought for the past couple of days that I would buy a new sofa set, but that's just ridiculous. For a person who's trying to get out of debt, I can't believe how many times I resort to throwing myself back into debt for the stupidest things. I guess the first thing I should do is take a shower. I've been up for 2 hours yet still haven't taken one. From there, who knows.
I set up a domain name for my Drinkin' Beer stuff that Jack's going to host for me (thanks again man!). The domain name is drinkinbeer.net and will feature all of my videos as well as some other things. If anything it will serve as a hub for all my other outlets (YouTube, Facebook, etc.). I say all this while thinking about the large quantity of beer in my fridge right now that I have yet to do videos for, but can't seem to bring myself to do. I started last night, but I just wasn't in a drinking mood. Instead of forcing myself, I made some garlic bread and hit the sack for the night. I don't feel like I'm in any more of a mood to fire up the camera and start drinking, so I'm at a loss for the rest of the day. I'm sure I'll eventually get so bored that I'll pop in MW2 and when that happens, the beer flows like water. I'd really rather not do that, but what other choice do I have?
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( 3 / 28 )Invisible fence
Thursday, August 12, 2010, 06:09 PM
I talked to Payne today. [sarcasm]I'm happy to see that he's done so much for himself to improve his life since moving back to Beardstown![/sarcasm]
What else is there to say? You can't talk sense to him because he's got everything figured out already, and that's the truth! He really does have it all figured out. He wants to live out the rest of his own life living with whatever family or friends he has left, skating through life with zero responsibility to others and nothing but the hope that one day it will all magically work out for him in the end to keep him going, day by day. He's living with Bub and Chris, which is actually the perfect marriage for all three of them as they all have tried to have normal relationships just to have them end in disaster. I would say that it wouldn't surprise me in the least if they all end up living together well into their 40's, but that's just not going to happen with Payne going to prison and all.
For a person who is "never going back to prison", Payne is certainly doing everything in his power to make is happen. My guess is that WHEN he gets caught again, he'll just kill himself and that will be that. He won't, but as long as he thinks he will it is his free pass to keep doing "whatever he can to get by" since there are obviously no consequences to his actions. The one thing that I'm sure of is that if he goes to prison again, I'm done with him. I'm not having anything jeopardize the life I'm making for myself even if it means turning my back on a brother. If he's not going to find the strength inside himself to leave his past behind and focus on a future that doesn't involve breaking the law every time he turns around, then all he's going to be is an albatross that will pull down everyone around him until they are locked up right along with him.
The one thing that he told me on the phone was that all that mattered to him was that people knew he was a person that could be counted on. When he says he's doing something, he's doing it! When he is tasked to do something, he doesn't dick around like everyone else; he does it! I knew the moment he left for Beardstown that this fence wouldn't get finished (at least not by him), but he insisted that he was going to finish it. It's been months now and the fence project still hasn't been finished. I get him on the phone to see if he can work on the fence this weekend and he's mostly concerned with getting a ride. Even though I could pick him up and take him back, that's not the ride he needs. He needs someone to pick him up every night, take him back to Beardstown, then bring him back the following morning. Why? Because he's got to be in Beardstown at night because that's when he "makes his money".
So, to cut right to the chase: Payne doesn't have even ONE WEEKEND to spare for a friend to finish a job he started because his drug dealing has to come first. That is fucking bullshit. Sariah has been urging me to just hire someone to do it for me and forget about Payne doing it, which I would have done a while ago had it not been for Payne's stirring speech about how he wouldn't leave me hanging on this. I regret calling him now.
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( 3 / 29 )PS3 vs Xbox 360
Wednesday, August 11, 2010, 05:11 PM
I recently rented Heavy Rain for the PS3. I really wish developers for the 360 would have the balls the company that made Heavy Rain has. It's a great game (interactive drama), albeit a short one. The story is kick-ass and has better twists and plot development than most movies I've seen in a long time. This is the game I would shove in the face of all 360 sci-fi fantasy fanboys who bow at the alter of Bioware (the developers of Mass Effect and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic). Every since playing Mass Effect, I've been befuddled by all the people who praise Bioware for their writing. I found the story to be very one-dimensional and full of plot holes. The second Mass Effect was a pathetic extension of the first game into a franchise and not even worth commenting on.
While Heavy Rain is essentially a virtual "choose your own adventure" book, there was no way to lose. No matter what you did in the game, the story would continue on to the finish and that has a lot to do with the characters you play as and their connection to one another. The story is stellar; a crime/thriller story in the vein of Seven and many times in the game you're finding yourself in situations definitely inspired by that movie. There are a few questionable moments in the story development, but nothing so great that would sour my overall impression of the game. They did a great job bringing you as the player into the story through a combination of the choices you make and the intuitive use of the Sony Sixaxis controller.
I'm lucky enough to have both systems (well, technically the PS3 belongs to Cass, but...) so I can play all the good games that hit the market (accept those of the Wii variety. I just wanted to talk about how great I thought that game was. Haven't played Alan Wake yet, but I doubt it could be anywhere near as cool as Heavy Rain. Hell, even Sariah took notice of the game. She thought it was one of the best looking games she's seen and the second day started watching me play it.
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( 2.9 / 33 )I'm a monster
Sunday, August 8, 2010, 01:03 PM
Sariah wakes up this morning to a call from Angie who is concerned about me over a video I posted on Facebook last night. It was a live stream of me while I was playing Xbox before taping my final episode of Drinkin' Beer for the night. She thought that I was so drunk that I didn't realize I was taping myself the whole time. So Sariah freaks out and tells me that I needed to take down the "embarrassing" video I put up last night while wasted. This confused the hell out of me because I didn't get wasted last night. I told when she got home that I streamed the taping of one of my episodes, but I guess she forgot about that. This translated into an argument over my "out of control behavior" where she expressed to me that she felt my drinking was getting progressively worse
I'm shocked that Angie was concerned by my live stream. I didn't do or say anything embarrassing or make an ass out of myself. I wasn't even wasted in it. She got the wrong impression of things and assumed the worst. Why is that? Why do people always assume that I'm wasted all the time? I drink once a week and that's pretty much just to tape episodes of the show. I'm not some ravenous drunk who can't control himself like apparently everyone thinks I am. I do between 5 and 6 beer samplings when I'm taping new episodes. After I finish a video, I still have to finish the beer, so I take breaks between episodes and finish the beer at leisure. I'm not power slamming 5 beers over the course of an hour or anything. Actually, it takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to tape an episode, then I break for 30-40 minutes and things up again. I wouldn't call that out of control at all.
I guess this is what happens when you invite people into your uncensored world. She was probably convinced i was drunk because of the number of times I would have to redo a line while taping my episode. Yes, I fuck up a lot while taping these episodes. Surprise? Hasn't anyone noticed that my videos are edited to all hell? It's not because I'm drunk, it's because I stumble on a word here or there, or don't like the delivery I gave. Sometimes I'll repeat myself because I just to give a line a different inflection then choose which version suits the episode better during editing. That's production. Unfortunately when it's me doing it, I must be drunk.
I want Sariah to be happy, but I enjoy doing this show and as fucked up as it may sound, I think it's helping me reign in my drinking by making it more of a task rather than an excuse to kill time. I guess since I'm me and my opinion is always clouded by the excesses of alcohol, it doesn't count. I can't do anything right.
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( 2.9 / 32 )Next
