Sanguis Minimus Corpus Animus
Monday, November 3, 2008, 06:35 AM
It's November now.
I don't really have anything to say.
I'm going home early.
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( 2.9 / 22 )32
Tuesday, October 28, 2008, 03:27 AM
My birthday was this past weekend. I spent it alone.
I bought the game Far Cry 2 and have been playing that for the past few nights. Tom is learning slowly but surely. Even though he's seen some of the crap that makes Cass a retarded company, he hasn't yet been challenged. A part of me feels as though he's going to work out fine, but I can't help but notice little traits he shares with Blake.
Right now my life revolves around my job. I don't do anything outside of work except sit at home and play xbox. I can't get fired up about anything anymore. It all seems like a big waste of time. I'm still drinking, but not as much. I've decided that for the sake of my dwindling bank account I'm going to put the collection on hiatus for a little while until I can get some money saved back. Spending $50+ a week on beer is insane and I really can't afford it anymore. I picked up a 12-pack of Keystone Light over the weekend and could barely get it down. I'm really going to miss the taste of a good beer.
I'm going out in style though. Last night I picked up a Michelob assorted craft beer pack. 3 of the beers I already had, but it also contained Irish Red and Marzen, which I didn't have. I also picked up a wooden crate collectors case of Budweiser. After the Michelob is gone though (I also have a Rogue chocolate stout in the fridge) it's back to cheap, light beer. I need to save money back because there are a lot of things that need to be taken care of around the house and we don't have the money for it. Sariah is working less hours now and even though my checks are steady I find we're still spending way too much on food. I go to lunch almost every day now which is something I haven't done since Tim left Cass. It's amazing how much money you can spend on food in a week.
I was planning on taking a vacation before the end of the years, but now I don't know if I'm going to or not. I don't want to squander a vacation by sitting at home doing nothing. I would rather be at work if that were the case. Crap. I've got to go to Peoria now. This might be my last journal entry for a while. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to post anything because I simply don't do anything worth mentioning.
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( 2.9 / 20 )You're the Inspiration
Tuesday, October 14, 2008, 11:56 PM
I'm not mid-week into the second week with the new guy. I like him, but it's going to take a lot of work to get him to where I'm at. I honestly don't understand why it's so difficult for me to find a job in this industry after actually interviewing people and seeing what their schooling or years of experience has garnered them. Still in all, I've decided to hold off looking for another job until I've put in some time as production manager. Hopefully by then I'll have enough experience and credentials to find a decent job outside of Cass.
I'm spending way too much money and need to cool it once again. This sucks because even with the raise and Sariah clearing a $1000 per month we're still unable to get caught up. Granted our account took a big hit with me catching us up on the power bill and now that it's caught up the last thing I have to do is get the house payment back on track. Once that's done I'm hoping that we'll actually begin saving money back instead of blowing everything we've got. Spending over $200 in one weekend is nuts and it's all on food and gas. I'm tired of it. It has to stop.
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( 3 / 34 )More of the Same.
Sunday, October 5, 2008, 04:51 PM
I found out this weekend that I have 40 hours of overtime left for the year. I think I'm going to schedule a vacation sometime in the near future, I just don't know what I'm going to do with that time off. Right now all I'm thinking about is the new person who is starting today. I'm hoping that with him on board things will improve for me, but they probably won't. I'm taking a break from the cake thing just in time to start on the cookie thing. I need to get my mom over here so she can show me how to make them right. I may end up making less than I was originally asked, but that's better for me overall. I kind of bit off more than I could chew with this cookie thing and now I just want to get it done with.
I know I've said it before, but my entire life has become consumed by this job. I've complained about my job many times over to everyone around me and they all think I'm stupid for complaining and maybe I am, but I strongly feel as though I have no sense of myself anymore. Still, I have to struggle with the idea that perhaps I would get along better in my life if I just moved on. In order to get beyond the place I'm at now, I have to open myself up in ways I haven't done in a very long time. In other words, I have to meet new people. It's hard for me because the way I meet new people is by offering my services to them. This doesn't really allow me the ability to develop a close relationship with others because it's usually a one-time deal and often times if the situation gets out of control or simply becomes more frustrating than fun I'll abandon the project and put distance between myself and these people I've met.
Outside of my close friends, I don't really have anyone else in my life that I would hang out with on a regular basis and it's getting to the point where I need that sort of connection. Sariah and I don't really do a lot together. Our tastes are quite different overall. I hang out with Chad every once in a while and that's cool. In fact this weekend we went to Springfield and had a pretty good time. We're going to a gun show next weekend and while I still have no desire to buy a gun, I still find it interesting and it's good for people watching. Knous and I might schedule our remaining vacation time together and try to do something. I don't know exactly what we intend to do during the fall/winter, but I'm sure we'll figure out something.
Next year I'm planning on going out to Arizona to visit Payne. I've talked about driving out there, but that would really only give me a couple of days to hang out because the drive would consume most of my time. Still, a flight is so damned expensive. I've been pricing trains and that seems to be the most cost-effective method of getting out there. It would run us around $500-600 for round-trip tickets, but it would cost us probably just as much in gas to drive. The one downside to taking a train is that you can't stop whenever you want. I've taken a 24 hr plus trip on public transportation before and it's no fun whatsoever. I think it might be worth it just to take the car so we can stop and see the sights whenever we felt like it. I don't know though. It's really up to Sariah when it comes to stuff like that.
Even though I'm planning vacations, that still doesn't change the course of my life and what I've got going on here. Nothing I do has purpose nor can I manufacture my own purpose because it always seems shallow and worthless. I just wish I had some inspiration.
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( 3 / 38 )I Can't Remember Anything
Thursday, October 2, 2008, 12:52 AM
I went in for the "surgery" yesterday. It was a funny experience because I remember a bunch of nurses hooking me up to sensors and putting that oxygen thing under my nose and that was it. I woke back up in a different room, but it wasn't like waking up from sleep as much as it was like I blinked and was teleported into another room. I don't really remember what the doctor said after everything was done. The tidbits I do remember was that there was no ulcer, they found a growth of some sort, it was benign, they are doing some sort of test on it to confirm what it is.....I think.
I'm back to work today and getting ready to go through hours upon ours of painstaking file conversion. Ugh!
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( 3 / 61 )Nobody Ever Fucking Crosses Me!
Saturday, September 27, 2008, 01:18 PM
I just reorganized and counted my beer collection.
230 unique bottles and cans. Had I kept every bottle and can I've purchased that number would be significantly higher. I've got some new pictures to put up on my myspace page, but for some reason my stupid-ass computer won't recognize the camera. I think it's about time I invested in a new computer.
Anyhoo, this tonight is cruise night in J-Ville and Fall Fun Festival in B-Town. Sean and the guys are in Bloomington playing Paulie's last show and Knous is sitting at his house doing nothing. I would have gone to B-Town tonight, but the police have stepped up there presence considerably this year at Cruise night so I imagine they are patrolling the highways like a motherfucker. I've already begun drinking tonight and wouldn't stop if I went to B-town so I'm staying right here to avoid landing my ass in jail.
I do think it's odd how many cops were in J-Ville tonight. I think it's a bit oppressive overall. State police and city cops all over the place - it was incredibly stupid. Sariah is out with her sisters doing something. I imagine they'll end up hitting the bars and she won't be home until way later. That's fine with me. Being the reclusive nerd that I am, I will most likely sit at home drinking beer and playing xbox all night. I picked up a 6-pack of Schlafly APA & Pumpkin Ale as well as some Goose Island Harvest Ale and Matilda.
I am so fucking glad this week is over. It was a real nightmare trying to do these cakes in a kitchen without air conditioning. It's something I don't intend to do again. Today I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to shave my beard off. I did it in stages and took pictures along the way. I surprised Sariah with the first trim job which left me with a thin beard connected to a handlebar mustache. I don't know what that trim is called but I looked hilarious with it. To add to the horribleness of it I slicked my hair back with gel. Sariah said I looked like a gay pornstar. The next trim was to a handlebar mustache and while looking funny it is something I wouldn't ever wear.
Eventually I got down to a hitler mustache and then just clean shaven. It's weird not having my beard anymore. I keep stroking my chin and feeling nothing but stubble. One thing for sure is that I definitely look fat without my beard. I also look younger apparently. For the first time in years I got carded today. I can't wait for Monday when I have to face my chucklehead boss. I'm sure he's going to explode with idiocy at first sight of me. Sariah hasn't even seen me yet and I'm sure she'll have nothing good to say. I remember when I first started wearing my facial hair as a full beard and Sariah absolutely hating it. I'll bet money her tune will have changed by now.
I think I'm going to try to remix the last 4PS record....just for shits and giggles.
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( 3 / 63 )I Got Beans in my Pocket
Friday, September 26, 2008, 03:25 AM
This week has been hectic and frustrating and the most frustrating part is that it's still not over with yet.
I have a commercial I'm finishing up today that I started on Monday that I'm going to upload here once it's done so you can share my pain. Tonight I have to go to Pittsfield and tape a football game, but before that I have to go home and bring two cakes into work, then go home again and finish Molly's cake because I ran out of icing last night at 3:30 and didn't want to run to the store.
I'm taking a break from cakes for a while or at least until it starts getting colder outside. My central air has been down for a month now and I'm realizing now that it's nearly impossible to do good cake work without it. Humidity and heat will destroy a cake faster than clumsiness and believe me there was plenty of that to go around as well this week. I'll be happy when it's all over with. I don't want to make icing for at least a month.
Still working on uploading the entire 4PS catalog.
Also Eugene Mirman is a funny guy.
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( 3 / 68 )Stuff and other stuff....I'm too tired to think of something right now
Friday, September 19, 2008, 04:47 AM
A few days of intense stomach pain versus years of constant nagging tooth pain. Black stool versus a visible abscess in my mouth. Which is the problem that is going to eventually do me in? It's funny because I'm having doctors check me out for the stomach thing like crazy, but when it comes to my mouth it's like, fuck that. That's the way I'm looking at it. End up with over $1000 in medical expenses to find out I don't have an ulcer versus spending $1500 to get rid of a confirmed, real problem.
I bring this up because for the past two days now I've been unable to chew or open my mouth very wide without experiencing intense pain. Just to choke down some leftover pizza I had to take pain killers, which I hate doing because of the euphoric state they put me in. Today I'm not even going to bother with it just drink milkshakes. I'm thinking the pain is from sleeping wrong or possibly from simply stressing out my muscles from chewing gum all the time. Sariah believes that this is directly tied to the infection in my mouth and believes it's an indication that the infection is spreading. Everyone around me gets all worried about what something like this means, but quite frankly I think it's just a bunch of crap.
What are my plans for this weekend?
I plan to sleep. I plan to sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.
That and continue playing Infinite Undiscovery. It's an okay game, but not really the type of RPG I'm into. It's the goofy kind of Japanese story that I never really get into. The gameplay itself makes up for the bad dialog and character development as it's more action oriented than a traditional RPG. Lost Odyssey was straight up, old-school Japanese PRG fare, but the story and character development were awesome. I still feel as though Lost Odyssey would have been a great game rivaling even the Final Fantasy series had the ending been more intense. For such a great story it's a shame that they really let the game fall flat in the end. Still, it was worth the money and so is Infinite Undiscovery, I just haven't gotten as wrapped up into it as I did with Lost Odyssey.
Speaking of RPGs, the XBOX 360 is getting a HUGE shot in the arm in that regard. There are so many RPGs coming out over the remainder of this year and next that it puts a smile on my face. All of this coalescing to the release of Final Fantasy XIII, which is big news for any 360 owner as it was previously a Playstation exclusive title. Add to this Gears of War 2, Saint's Row 2 and Resident Evil 5 and you're left with one of the strongest line-ups in recent history. Not to sound like your average fanboy, but now is the time to get an XBOX 360 if you don't already have one because it's going to rock it hard! Also, if you're a friend of mine, you own an XBOX 360, are on XBOX Live and you HAVEN'T sent me a friend request then why not do so today?
Charlie Dango is my gamertag and I've even got the damn camera now so I can video chat with people. Seriously, hit me up sometime!
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( 2.9 / 72 )For all your Four Pointed Sisters needs...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 08:40 AM
FOUR POINTED SISTERS SITE
Please check back in the future as well as I will try to upload the entire 4PS discography to this site.
If that's okay with you, Jack!
Also, I've got fourpointedsisters.com registered and wanted to know if I could assign it to point to that folder? If I can then great, if not then it's no big deal.
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( 3.2 / 72 )Feelin' Bad
Wednesday, September 17, 2008, 12:34 AM
I don't know why, but I feel extremely tired. I had a freaky dream last night that a tooth and a large section of my gums fell out of my mouth. The thing is that the tooth itself was at least 4 times bigger than all my other teeth. I wasn't able to take a shower today because we didn't have any clean towels. I threw some in the dryer and put the rest in the washer before I left for work, but I should have done that last night. I've just been feeling so tired lately.
Today I'm going to be redoing the Cargill "Opportunity Knocks" spot. I've got a commercial that I need to make revisions to as well and tomorrow I'll begin putting together a new ad for Billy's Bargain Ba...I mean, Billy's Furniture Mart. That spot has to be ready for Monday Night Football which means I have to have it ready for approval by Monday. That sucks.
Tonight I'm baking 2 dozen sugar cookies as a sample portion for a much larger order. I'm secretly hoping they decide not to go with me because I'm starting to think that this cookie thing is going to be too much for me to handle. I'll be making $700 for doing it, but considering the fact that I'm going to be putting in over 40 hours to get it done, I'm actually screwing myself. If they go forward and I end up making all these cookies there is a good chance I'll be doing it again next year. I don't want this to happen at this price point because I really believe now that I underbid myself. I've never done cookies before so my initial calculations might not have been right. Who knows, I might actually only put in 20 hours in which case $700 profit would be a good thing.
This weekend I need to start work on practicing on fondant for Molly's upcoming cake. I told her I can do it and I can, I just need to practice the color striping thing that is in the design she game me. that might be a little harder than I originally let on. I'm not worried though. I've got a week to practice so that's plenty of time to perfect what I need to do. Sariah is probably not going to be working with me on this cake because her new hours at her job are ridiculous. It's odd going back to hardly ever seeing Sariah anymore, but if anything I think it will help things overall.
Last night was my third night in a row without drinking and I plan to make tonight my fourth. I know it doesn't sound too impressive to people who don't drink all the time, but it's an accomplishment for me at this point. Especially since I have a refrigerator full of beer right now. The temptation to drink is always looming in the back of my mind and the means to make it happen are always mere feet away from me. I need to stay strong for myself though. The only way I can improve myself is by shutting out the urge and getting my control back. Why does it have to be so hard?
I uploaded the first new 4PS track to our myspace page last night. I'm going to upload the rest of it to this site today. Not get your hopes up; it's good, but not great. I like it though and I had fun doing it and that's what it's there for. I haven't heard back from Sean on the subject, but we might end up doing more albums in the future at a more frequent rate than just one every 3-4 years. Tim's up for it and I'm sure Sean would be too. I think this album is enough for now. Hell, the 33 minute song "Poop Tales" is enough for at least a year. It's an epic, let me tell ya!
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( 2.8 / 73 )Next
